COLUMN: A race where things were not as they seemed

            LOUDON, N.H. - Gilmanton is, oh, 10 miles from New Hampshire Motor Speedway. That village is where Grace Metalious lived, and her controversial 1956 novel, Peyton Place, is supposedly based on the towns of Gilmanton, Laconia and Alton.

            Nothing in Peyton Place was as strange as what happened in the Lenox Industrial Tools 301, which was supposed to have been run one lap longer than any previous New Hampshire stock-car race.

            What's weirder than a 301-lap race? One that doesn't go that far, thanks to rain, wrecks and Juan Pablo Montoya, who, by intentionally wrecking Kyle Busch - weirdly the younger brother of Kurt, who won - bought enough time for rain to arrive on the scene that, quite possibly, could've brought Dorothy and Toto with it.

            Tony Stewart has won five Nationwide Series races this season. In Sprint Cup, the two-time champion and/or his crew have figured out at least five ways how to lose races. Flat tire here, out of gas there ... B-O-R-I-N-G. The latest script could've been written by Stephen King who, as you may know, is seldom far away from New Hampshire.

            Stewart finished 13^th. That's just too obvious. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?

            Michael Waltrip finished second. About the only thing that could've been more surprising would've been if Michael Jackson had finished second (singing "Thriller," no doubt). J.J. Yeley finished third, which was a little less surprising that J.J. from Good Times finishing third and yelling "Dy-no-MITE!"

            It was so ridiculous!

            The track announced on Sunday morning that the race was sold out, which seemed odd since about 10,000 seats were empty. It's actually plausible, given the developments heretofore mentioned, that ghosts bought those seats. Or ghosts of witches burned at the stake at Salem.

            Do you think Speedway Motorsports Inc. CEO Bruton Smith knew, when he was ponying up $340 million for this chamber of horrors, that he was buying a corner of ...

            ... The Twilight Zone?

            Imagine what might've happened if the track hadn't canceled the elephant race on the front straight.

            You can reach Monte Dutton at mdutton@gastongazette.com.